Picture the perfect Accountability Partner. Who comes to mind? Is it someone who seems out to get you for making a mistake? If the first person you imagine playing that role isn’t someone that celebrates your victories, it’s time to redefine accountability.
Often, when we think about the people who hold us accountable, we consider the people who wish to keep us out of trouble. They’re the co-worker who reminds you what time your meeting starts and the neighbor who lets you know you left your trashcans on the curb. Why is it our accountability partner is so often seen as someone who keeps bad stuff from happening? Why aren’t the people we associate with our well-being the Cheerleader, the Coach, that guy in the office that gives you a high-five every morning? Those people are also interested in your well-being and choose to spend their energy by being encouraging.
It’s important that you become answerable to someone other than yourself. Accountability lets you blend all of your obligations. If spending time with your family is important, and fitness is important, then let’s spend time being active with our family. By agreeing with other people about what is important, you create partners who will hold you to the standards that align with your goals. What’s amazing is that you don’t even have to be explicit about your goals, you only have to be specific about your steps.
I encourage people not to overthink the process of creating an accountability partner in someone. There doesn’t have to be a formal ceremony. You could look at your desk neighbor and say, “Hey, I’m trying to drink more water. Will you ask me how well I’m doing?” They don’t have to know the reasons behind your decision in order to help you with your habits. If you want to be held accountable to spending more time moving, promise your kid you’ll take them to the park after work. I guarantee you they’re going to hold you to that promise, and you’ll never even have to tell them that you’re trying to exercise more. The point is that an accountability partner is anyone who will reflect your values back to you in a useful way. Your relationship with them doesn’t have to be spiritual, maternal, professional, frequent, lifelong, long-term, or even daily. You complicate the matter when you build a job description. Decide on your goal and identify someone that seems available to providing you some encouragement. That’s it. Sometimes all it takes is someone who will disrupt a bad habit. It’s likely someone came to mind as you read that last sentence. Those people are you first candidates.
Once you’ve established an accountability partner, make sure you’re matching your request to who they are appropriately. Don’t tell the barista you see a few times a week that you want to lose 35lbs by next summer. It’s too broad and requires too much constant contact. However, you can ask them to recommend healthy options when you place your order. They cannot own the 35lbs for you, but there’s a chance that they can own 350 calories with you. Save the bigger goals for the people with the bigger investment.
Speaking of bigger goals, another great accountability tool is Checkpoints. If your goal is to drink five more gallons of water per week, you want to take your first sip Monday morning at 7:00 am. Let’s avoid solving Monday’s problems on Friday. Checkpoints provide two key data-points: actions you can celebrate, and what you need to adjust. Using checkpoints as you go helps you decide how to adjust. Can you imagine playing a sport with the scoreboard hidden from view? You’d never know if you could rest your offense and let defense hold down the fort, or if it was time to double your efforts to score. You’d be exhausted and miserable without knowing the immediate payoff of your efforts. A checkpoint serves as an accountability tool not just to help you take up the slack, but also to identify how well you’re doing. If you finish the first mile of a run ahead of pace and feeling great, maybe you can challenge yourself to beat your time on the next mile. Setting checkpoints allows you to Focus on your progress and then celebrate your Power by taking note of the effort you made to get there.
Depending on where you are in your journey, you may struggle by the hour, the day, or only feel like you’re facing a challenge once in a while. It’s so important that you create checkpoints that are proportionate to your goal. If you work in an environment rich in temptations, then set your checkpoints by morning, mid-morning, lunch, post-lunch, afternoon, and check out time. Gauge your progress and celebrate how well you moved from one checkpoint to another. If you need to adjust because someone brought donuts, then adjust and move forward.
Accountability partners and checkpoints are meant to provide positive feedback to your progress. Checkpoints are the measuring tool of success. Let’s be partners for proving how great we can be.
